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, by Cindy Gallop
Ebook Free , by Cindy Gallop
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Product details
File Size: 446 KB
Print Length: 57 pages
Publisher: TED Books (February 22, 2011)
Publication Date: February 22, 2011
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B004P1IX9U
Text-to-Speech:
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#852,466 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Cindy Gallop has great courage with this little book and serves parents and grandparents well I think. Just yesterday I was recommending this book and her Ted Talk and website MakeLoveNotPorn to a church deacon friend who is very much involved in raising his grandchildren. In talking about this book and the whole story of how this woman, this Yes, She Likes Younger Men type woman joins the TMI revolution by getting honest with us about the #1 way our youth today are learning about human sexuality. Two words: Internet porn.And what they are learning just isn't true. This is her point. Perhaps never before has such a profound human condition--how we view and embrace and share our sexuality--has altered an entire generation so quickly through technology.Her argument is strong for two reasons. First, she learned this trend of Men Stupid About Sex from a new and young generation first hand: by dating younger men. Second, she is critical of porn not for moral reasons but because Internet porn is today reporting and teaching a false world. Her book tells the tale about how her idea about coming out about this simple truth turned into a Ted Talk and then a web site, all while she has kept busy with her career as a advertising executive. She gains credibility by unabashedly stating that she likes porn and watches it regularly.Just last week, two days ago, I read of a controversy in the Bay Area where high school kids near here are writing a sex column for their Mountain View High School paper, Oracle, and being chided for being too frank. Those who want these kids censored or shut down should read Cindy's book and see her site by the same title; where the Porn World is set apart side by side next to The Real World. At a parent and school board meeting last night, says this morning's paper, a mom of a 9th grader said, "Incoming freshmen don't need to know about masturbation." OK mom, listen. Wake up here. Your incoming freshman doesn't need to know about masturbation because two years back he learned about double penetration or some such circus trick (what one porn star, Nina Hartley calls such silly things she has no part in) on his smartphone you bought him; and all during lunch at school.Cindy's main point in her book? So much for the pre-Internet debate question of who should educate our kids on sex: schools or parents or church is pretty much a moot issue now. Our kids are already educated by short clips on laptops of folks Doing It. And doing it in ways that just don't reflect the real world.Time for us to get real about this and start talking to our kids and grand kids about this important aspect of our lives. I have Cindy's book on my Android and talk about her work and book with folks old and young; parents and young guy friends who are into porn perhaps a little too much.The author's message is simple and powerful because it is about all of us finding the courage to start telling the truth here. If we care about sex and love and relationships and truth and our kids, we'll listen to this author I think. We'll take 6 minutes to view her Ted Talk and get more honest about all things naked. Time to get brave. Read this book if you have kids. Or maybe if you just want more honest sex in your life. A double win.
I first met Cindy Gallop a couple of years ago when I was interviewing her on the subject of storytelling. In this case it was to do with the rather more (though only, perhaps, a little) polite world of online advertising. Cindy understands how to communicate directly and with humor. With Make Love Not Porn she undresses all the illusions one might have about our own intimate behavior, and what is harder to read (especially to those of us with kids) that of the searching minds of teenagers. We live in a world where anything that can be imagined (or visually created) is but a mouse click away. The porn industry (with all its friends and relations) has a deep reach into the lives of us all. It affects how we think about sex, our own bodies and the bodies of those we interact with. Cindy Gallop addresses all these issues in a very personal and explicit way. This is not for the faint of heart but it will certainly open the eyes. Place alongside "The Sexual Life of Catherine M" by Catherine Millet and you will have two of the most explicit and well-told stories of female/human sexuality.
This book is a pretty short read that expands on a 5-minute TED Talk about the MakeLoveNotPorn website. Talking about sex can be a taboo subject, so a lot of people learn about sex from porn. Cindy Gallop explains how sex in porn may differ from real sex. Learning about sex from porn may lead to some misconceptions that can be cleared up through open and honest conversations. The book started off strong but had too many long quotes from a variety of people toward the end. Since most men and many women watch porn, I would still recommend this book to practically everyone.
This little book packs a bit of a wallop (no, that's not intended to rhyme with the author's name!). Cindy Gallop is force to be reckoned with, and this book is part of that. Her Ifwerantheworld.com effort dovetails into her expertise around marketing and empowering people, particularly women. You may wonder: what does sex and porn have to do with any of that?It's simple, really. Porn is out there, and we can dislike it, regulate it (or try to), moralize it, and proselytize against or for it, but it persists and, as she notes, has persisted for almost as long as we've been human. The problem is not porn per se, it's how porn is absorbed by the consumer. From that flows the whole genre of porn that panders not to deeply held desires, but to money and market share, depriving all sexual beings of choice and power. Therein lies the problem.Ms. Gallop came to this realization through direct experience, a process she is not shy about sharing (but does not indulge in excessive and unwanted detail - a wonderful balance of privacy and kiss-and-tell). The men she was seeing all seemed to approach sex and love from the standpoint of "You Too Can Be Porn Star!", something that she found ultimately disturbing. How, she wondered, are these young men getting their "education" about sex? Why do they assume so many things about what a woman wants, things that, by and large, a lot of women do NOT want? Answer: they learned it by watching porn.What sets this book apart and makes it, for me, so compelling is her ability to forgo, indeed deny, the usual tired tropes of how porn is awful and everywhere and should be banned, and our children are not safe, blah blah blah. Instead, she uproots what is at present the "job" of self-appointed, self-righteous fear mongers like Dines and in the past a feminist tirade and instead asks questions and seeks solutions. All of this is approached not from a "whack 'em" position but from a loving position. The companion message here is that the same technology that brings electronic journals and books to libraries (the same libraries used by these same children and young adults, btw) and social networking (yep, that too) has also facilitated a crippling avalanche of material, and porn is a big part of that. Is it any real surprise that young men and women have "learned" from this?Ms. Gallop does not make any pretense of a deep analytical framework, nor does she posit grandiose solutions. Instead, she opens the door to a much wider dialog. The solutions won't come from any one project or stellar personality. The real "answer" to porn is to both enable the consumer to make intelligent, informed choices based on a full and fair knowledge (there really are good varieties of porn out there) and to promote the idea that sex and love are all about communication, not passive reception and Pavlovian "me too"-isms. To that end, she has succeeded. This book deserves a place on many shelves.
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